Some days I wake up and feel lonely. I have no one to wake up next to, no one to love and no one who loves me. I have that thing we call friends. I know a shit load of people that are wonderful and without who my life would be very very sad, but still I feel terribly lonely. I have no best friend. There is no one who considers me as their best friends. But I have friends, don't get me wrong. And those friends are real ones and I feel like they care about me. I'm thankful for them. But then why do I feel like such shit? No one wants to date me. Many girls are like ohh your so beautiful, do you have a boyfriend? No lol. No boyfriend. No girlfriend. There was this one boy I let myself fall for. Damn that boy made me feel something I never felt before: undesired. I wanted that boy so bad, I did everything for it to happen. He prooved me last friday at this party he actually couldn't give less a fuck about me. Every little bit of attention he could give me I would take. I'd made me feel special and it would make me hold on to this boy, hoping someday he'd see what is right before his eyes. But then no, he didn't gave me a bit more attention than to all those girls he knows. That doesn't work for me. I want to be the only one and the favorite one. If that is not how he feels for me, well I know now. I'm done trying, boys like you aren't worth it for a single penny. Now there's this girl. My ex not so ex girlfriend. We dated, but not for a while. On and off most of the time. Well know she is back into my life. Texting me beautiful things like you are so pretty, do you know that? She told me she misses me. I don't know quite what I feel for that gorgeous girl who always respected me so much, well she is so worth it. She is worth the miles that seperates us. That why we are going to be dating probably for another while, just to see. God, I want to bang her so much. She's the only girl who seems to give a real fuck about what I do and how I feel and what happens to me. I want her in my life. I want her to make me feel less lonely and worth something. Do you know what that feels like to matter?